Haunted
by Lycan.Kallias
Summary: Seven year old Gaara, left to die by his own father, is rescued by two angels. Ten years later the emotionally scarred teen meets the angels again. But is it a sign of happiness to come? Or will it just cause him even more pain? AU NaruGaa
1. Prologue

**I know what you're thinkin. And yes. I am starting a new story. Ha-Ha! Anyway. I actually was ASKED to write something like this. O.O Wowza. I figured, 'hey, what the fuck.' and this was born. **

**Note: Characters aren't mine, child abuse, yaoi, NaruGaa, lemons later on, and so on. Rated 'M' for a reason peoples.**

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_Prologue_

"La la la la..."

_Do you hear me down here? Where have you gone? Daddy... where are you?_

"La la la lullaby..."

_My throat hurts so badly. How come you don't come anymore? It's so cold down here... Will you give me back my blanket? I promise to be good this time. I won't cry anymore. I'll be quiet. I promise. I promise! Daddy come back..._

"Da da daa dum..."

_The walls are slimy again. I wonder if that means it's snowy time again. It must be. You put me down here during the snowy time and the walls were slimy just like now. Is it green like then? It's too dark to tell... My legs hurt so badly daddy. I can't stand up all the way anymore. Am I getting bigger? Is the room getting smaller? My food and water are gone... Why haven't you come back yet? I can catch the drops falling from the ceiling and the slime doesn't taste that bad. That's what I'll eat and drink until you come back. That's what I've been doing waiting for you. 'Cause I know you'll come back... 'Cause daddy's love their children... Daddy's love them no matter what..._

"Ba ba ba bum... lullaby..."

_I didn' mean to kill mommy. Daddy I'm sorry... I didn' mean to. I didn' mean to! Don't let me die down here! I promise to be a good boy. Daddy..._

"La la la lull... aby..."

_Don't let me die... alone... Daddy..._

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**Hm. Short prolouge. **


	2. I Can't Think

**Note: Characters aren't mine, child abuse, yaoi, NaruGaa, lemons later on, and so on. Rated 'M' for a reason peoples.  
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Chapter One****  
_I Can't Think_**

I awoke with a start. My breath comes in quick and shallow bursts, a pale hand flying to my chest, as if to stop my hearts rapid and painful beating. Why? Why that dream? Why now? I don't want to deal with my past right now. I don't want to deal with it ever. I push sweat from my clammy forehead and glance at the glowing alarm clock next to me. It's five-ten. I shrug to myself. It certainly wouldn't hurt for me to get up... there's no way I could sleep now anyway.

I shove the thick grey comforter aside and swing my feet over the edge of the bed the couple bought for me. The freezing cement that meets my bare feet makes a slight shiver want to run through me, but I suppress it easily and start across the spacious room. I don't know why they did this for me. Fuck. I don't know why I did this to myself really. Any sane person who was put through the things I was would probably want to be as far as possible from the area that did them the most damage, from the place that haunts them.

Not me.

Oh no. Not me. A smile spreads across my face slowly. No. I run willingly to the place I fear the most, curl up in my terror and **love** it. It's the undeniable proof I need to know that I am alive, that I do exist. It's ridiculous, I know. A freezing basement give me proof that I am not dead... not still trapped in my small cement prison... How pathetic.

At least I stayed in bed during this dream. I yawned opening my closet. Shikamaru, the man who's been taking care of me, has woken up to find me in closets and crawlspaces several times. I've spent a month trying to refrain from doing that. His wife, Temari, a woman who claims to be my sister, cries every time that happens. Even if I really can't believe she is my actual sister, she's given me a home and I don't want her to cry just because I'm seriously fucked up in the head. I mean, it isn't her fault I'm like this. It isn't her fault I feel safest here.

It's my fault... and our bastard fathers fault.

I spent many of my childhood years locked in a small cement room in a basement. My father put me there... My own father... and he did it in secret. When the family moved, he just left me there to die. Fuck. I wasn't even kept in the same house the family lived in. I learned much later I had been kept in an abandoned house somewhere near theirs. I would've died with no name, no family and no passing thought if the angels hadn't found me when they did.

My heart automatically warms when I think of the angels.

They were moving into the house I was being kept in. The little angel, MY angel, heard my lullaby as they moved in that first day. How? I don't know. He just did somehow. He followed my voice to a wall of loosely stacked bricks. He shouted. I stopped singing. He called for the other angel and I heard smashing and banging, when the noise stopped the door swung open. It was, according to the doctors, the first time I had seen real sunlight in years. Daddy had only come at night and that was probably why my eyesight was failing... But when the burning stopped... I could see their faces. I will **never** forget their faces. I remember crying when I saw them. I cried because I knew daddy would be so mad at me.

The older one took one look at me before running back upstairs while the younger one crawled into my room and scooped me into his arms, ignoring my weak protests, and carried me gingerly up the stairs. The angel that held me wasn't much older than I was a the time, but he was strong, big and healthy and I was too tiny and too weak to push away those warm welcoming arms. When he got me to the top of the stairs, I was already clinging to him desperately. I remember he made me instantly feel safe in those few seconds I had known him. He sat down on the floor gently, his arms a strong cradle around me as we began to rock back and forth, whispering soft words I'd longed to remember for years to come. But I was too scared to pay attention at the time. I thought daddy would come back any second and be so mad... but in those arms, my every worry seemed to melt away quickly.

He asked my name. "Gaara..." I whispered in a hoarse voice.

He asked me how I'd gotten down there. I didn't answer. My eyes stayed glued to my tiny dirty fists that created nasty black smudges all over his clean orange shirt. The big angel brought me some water and a thick wool blanket. I drank the water desperately as soon as I realized they meant it was for me, afraid they would take it back before I had finished. I ended up spilling half of it down my front and the angel that continued to hold me. When I began to cry and apologize in a small voice he just smiled. He said it was alright. He said accidents happen. That just made me cry harder.

He asked me how old I was. This time I couldn't really answer. "...daddy... said I killed mommy seven years..." He frowned, wrapped me in the blanket and sent a look towards the big angel who looked as if he would begin crying at any moment. My Angel asked me what I meant. "Daddy says... I killed mommy when I was born... but I didn' mean to!" I began to cry again and My Angel drew me closer to him. I sobbed freely into his shirt, held by those strong arms until the tears stopped.

My Angel asked how long ago daddy visited last. "A long time." was all I could answer. I flinched as the sounds of sirens came closer. He carried me to the large living room full of boxes as the doorbell rang. The red and blue lights bouncing off the walls fascinated and frightened me all at once and I clung to My Angel tighter. The big angel left and brought back police men and men dressed in light and dark blues. I started crying again and refused to release my hold on My Angels bright shirt when they tried to take me from him. He growled at the police officer, tightening his grip around me and turning to the big angel.

"Iruka." His voice was very gentle and he sounded as if he were pleading. The big angel nodded and spoke sternly. After a lot of arguing that made me flinch and shudder My angel ended up in the back of the big white ambulance with me. He never let go of my suddenly tiny hand... not that I would let him. If the doctors tried to separate us, the voice I thought I lost would tear through me and I would cry and he would argue with them until they had to cave. I would only let go of that comforting hand for moments at a time and would panic every second of it. But he would always come back. He stayed in the hospital with me for days, sleeping by my side, sometimes in a chair beside the bed, other times in the bed with arms wrapped around me, holding me close when I woke up screaming from the nightmares. Detectives, men in suits and the big angel came to visit me everyday, but My Angel was the only one who stayed with me all the time... and I loved him for that... loved him desperately for that.

People were visiting me all the time now, but the angels were the only ones who looked at me gently... like I wasn't a bad boy for not knowing my last name, or daddy's name, or mommy's name, or where I was from, or who the man was who had taken care of me in the woods before daddy put me in the room. The angels never looked at me like I was a bad boy... For the first time I could remember... I was happy...

Then the police men came and took me away from that happiness. The big angel was shouting, My Angel was yelling and reaching for me, the police men were holding them back, I was crying and screaming and the big man in the black suit kept dragging me farther and farther away from them. Farther from him.

That was the last time I ever saw my blond angel.

I grew up in a home with other children who isolated me immediately. I was too tiny, too sickly, too quiet, too weak, too different to even be considered one of them. Rather than leaving myself venerable just to be rejected by those that should've understood the most, I shut myself down, closed off my emotions completely from everyone until I forgot how to care. But, throughout all those lonely years, my every waking thought and every pleasant dream was reserved for My Angel.

"Gaara. Gaara." I opened my eyes slowly and blinked up at the fuzzy outline of my brunette brother-in-law. "Hey kid. You okay?" I wiped at my eyes, not surprised to find my face wet with tears. I crawled out of the closet and stood up stiffly, trying not to look like I'd just had the best hour of sleep I'd had all month. He gave me a half smile which I tried unsuccessfully to return.

"Sorry."

"It's alright." He yawned out and walked to the stairs. "Temari's cooking breakfast today. We'll leave right after that." I nodded and heard him walk up the stairs and shut the door quietly. I'd forgotten. That dream should've been some sort of indication something unpleasant was going to happen today. I sighed, picked out my clothes and walked to the bathroom. Today was the first day of my senior year.

I sped through my shower and dressed numbly. I put the finishing touches on the thick black rim of eyeliner around my light green eyes and brushed the thick red hair off my father's everlasting memory etched on my forehead in vibrant red. Temari said they would pay to have it removed. I told her I wanted to keep it. Why? I didn't really know myself. Maybe I just wanted to know I could always have love... even if it was just a splash of ink on my skin.

My hand reached out and touched my permanently frowning reflection tentatively. Pale eyes that couldn't see without the help of contacts or glasses. Paler skin that appeared sickly translucent, as if I had never left my basement prison. Wild crimson hair that looked like freshly spilled blood. I was just an eyesore. A weird combination. As if my creator had thrown together all that he had left in his barrels. I gazed at my reflection and saw a tiny and fragile body, a tell tell sign of my neglect and imprisonment. I saw something disgusting. A nothing. A nobody. Someone who deserved to be locked up and hidden away. I hated my reflection more than anything, for it amplified everything wrong about me and made it available for all to see times two.

I closed my eyes and walked upstairs. Temari was chattering on excitedly, Shikamaru yawned a lot and I forced down my sister's awful cooking, which she insisted I eat more of. She was worried I was going to waste away to nothing. Oddly enough, I was worried I wouldn't disappear fast enough. When Shikamaru finally convinced her I would pop if I ate one more bite and we'd be late, she allowed him to usher me out to the car. I felt as if I were going to vomit by the time we pulled out of the long drive way and started towards my school. I didn't understand why Temari was so excited. It was a new school year and my senior year sure, but everyone was starting school today and I... I was just a no one.

"You know," The silent brunette started as I opened the door to the car. He paused and looked at me from the corner of his eye. "She's really happy she finally found you. She's happy you're staying with us, even if we have to use that cover story, and I'm also glad you're here."

I bit my lip, unsure of what to say in this awkward 'family' type moment. He smiled briefly and wished me a good day. I watched him drive away still unsure what I should be feeling.

In the end my stomach gave out and I ended up running to the restroom and emptying my stomach into one of the blinding white toilets.

After my episode, I slipped into the orientation before following the crowds of people who still ignored me to my standard grey desk in an English class. I prayed the new students would get over their curiosity and my odd appearance would just fade into the backgrounds of their lives quickly. This was my last year of hell known as high school and being stared at by curious freshmen and new students wasn't going to make it pleasant. Oddly enough, as the eyes kept on staring, the more I felt as if I were going to burst into tears.

A tiny freshman walked up to my desk, her brunette hair cut in a bob that seemed as if it was fresh from the fifties along with her overly modest clothes. She smiled at me, fingers playing with the hem of her shirt. I threw her a glare. She flinched but held her ground. "H-hi. I'm Matsuri..." She mumbled.

I just growled and faced the front, trying to hide my panic that someone had actually been brave enough to come up and talk to me directly. She flinched again, her smile falling a bit. "I was wondering..."

"Everyone take their seats!" A loud voice called out as the door slammed shut. I covered my flinch and gazed down at my desk as the girl hurried to her seat. "This is English IV. You're all here because you're seniors or are smart enough to be placed in this class. This means y'all will probably ending up teaching me." The cheery voice announced happily, making most of the students laugh. I continued to stare a hole into my desk trying desperately to place the warm voice. I knew, some part of me knew that the voice was familiar in some way. Familiar like the heart beat of a loved one...

"My name is Mr. Uzumaki and you're supposed to address me as 'Mr. Uzumaki' but honestly y'all can just call me Naruto."

Naruto... Naruto... The name flew around my mind. Naruto... who...?

My head snapped up instantly catching those hauntingly familiar bright blue eyes with my own. The face was as I remembered it, just older, more chiseled and grown up, the same whisker like scars and stunning blond hair that offset that lovely golden skin. It all crashed down on me painfully. My Angel! My Angel! My Angel! My heart twisted and emotions welled up within me until it seemed as if they would claw their way out of my chest.

He had to know me. My heart pounded and blood rushed through my body at a furious pace. He had to know me! But his eyes passed over me, glancing at every one in the room, giving no indication I even sparked a vague memory. "I'm supposed to go over the 'syllabus' but y'all probably already know it, if ya don't, you'll cover it in your other classes. I myself find it boring and would rather rip out my own teeth." More students laughed. Already Naruto was becoming one of the most popular teachers in the school. "If ya must know, I won't take homework after the Friday of the week it was due, I'll always be a little late for class, thanks to a certain mentor of mine, but I'll be here for an hour after the final bell."

He picked up a sheet of paper from the desk he'd sat on and skimmed it. "It says no cell phones, no music players blah blah blah. I personally can't live without my cell so as long as you don't use it during testing hours and they're on vibrate, I'm cool with you having them. I think music is vital to the learning process so keep the volume low and we'll have no problem. Cool?" Several student whooped and he smiled brightly at them.

Over the noise I wasn't surprised no one heard the sound of my heart shattering.

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For one moment I was lost. When the small pale red head looked up at me there was no mistaking who he was. The tiny child we'd rescued from that basement prison ten years ago. After Iruka had lost the battle to adopt him, we'd lost track of him. It was as if all trace of him had been lost in the system. But I... I had never forgotten about him. Each day I'd think of him, wonder how he was doing, wondering if he was alright, if he was safe. My eyes always latching on to every red head in every room wondering if it was him. It never was and each time a piece of me seemed to break.

"I'm a new teacher here, well, new in all sense. I just graduated." My eyes scanned the room, making sure I didn't stop on the boy for too long. He stared at me blankly, giving no sign he even knew who I was. A part of me broke again, but that sensible voice in the back of my mind told me that was a good thing. He'd probably forgotten about that room. His mind making him forget that painful time. I knew it was for the best, but part of me still felt dead. I glanced at the clock and smiled. "Well, that's all I got. The rest of the hour is yours."

I smiled again as a hand in the back shot up. It belonged to an innocent looking pink haired girl. "Yes miss..."

"Sakura." She smiled. "We were wondering-"

"Not 'we'!" Piped in a provocatively dressed blond in a pony tail with long sweeping bangs. "Hinata was wondering if you're married or anything."

I smiled again. "No. I am not married."

"Are you dating someone!?" the blond chirped again.

"No. But there is someone special." The girls erupted into giggles. I smiled knowing full well there was no one in my life that counted as 'someone special'. "Now, unless anyone has any original questions, I'm turning on some music to drown y'all out." The class laughed again but a strong voice spoke up from the doorway.

"Should I be worried about this 'someone special' Uzumaki?" I turned and glared playfully at the tall brunette standing in the doorway, catching a glimpse of the distracted red head in the back.

"Of course not doll." The room erupted into laughter, which got me a not so playful glare from my roommate and co-worker, Sasuke Uchiha. "Now to what do I owe this lovely visit?" The dark blue almost black eyed man held up a black wallet.

"You forgot this in the teachers lounge." He growled. I gave him a smile. We both knew I'd probably forgotten it in the car or at the house, but after that little stunt he sure as hell wasn't likely to say that. I grabbed it and leaned against my desk again.

"This is my dear friend Mr. Uchiha. The most available history teacher here." He scowled at me once more.

"How are you supposed to be teaching these kids anything with that horrible dialect of yours?"

"Oh y'know. I be a mastah at English." He smiled briefly before turning and walking away, leaving me with about fifteen drooling girls to deal with. Most of the hour was spent answering any ridiculous question the kids could come up with and an occasional serious one. Through the noise and excitement I noticed the only one who didn't look at me or say anything at all was the little red head I was positive was the one I'd been searching for for years.

From the corner of my eye I observed him. The way he'd absently touch the tattoo on his forehead or push a lock of stunning red hair behind his ear. I was amazed at how well he'd grown. I knew children locked away or neglected as he'd been had trouble growing even a few inches taller than they'd been. He was still small by all means, but not as tiny as he'd been. He still looked pale and fragile, as if he could break if the wind blew too hard, but his blank expression said he was tough, that he could handle himself, that he would never break. He wore dark colors mostly and that just enhanced his odd skin, even from across the room I could make out the vague blue lines of his veins and see the bags under his eyes... Oddly enough, if you took away the added height and quiet strength, he looked exactly as he did ten years ago... a small broken child.

He turned and I tore my eyes away and glanced at the clock, my curiosity about his life over came my will. "We got fifteen minutes left. Why don't we go around the room and introduce ourselves and give us all a little insight into who you are?" There were a few groans, but the majority seemed to think it was a good idea.

The introductions were lost on me as soon as they were said. Only a few things stuck. The purple hair girl, Hinata, seemed like she could barely talk. Ino, blond pony tail girl, was kind of a bitch. A tiny brunette, who's name made me think of an old friend, thought I was a joke. The weird looking kid named Lee was overly enthusiastic. When the one I'd been waiting for finally stood up, all that information became lost as well.

He stared me down for a minute before finally opening his mouth to speak. "My name is Gaara, I'm seventeen." I waited for more but he said nothing else and sat down. I asked him about hobbies. He just stared at me. I asked him what his favorite subject. He said nothing.

"Hasn't changed a bit..." I whispered thinking back on the unanswered questions the day we pulled him from the room in the basement. His eyes locked onto mine as if he heard me.

"Who hasn't changed a bit?" one obnoxious girl in the front asked. Note to self: Push her down the stairs.

"High school." I smiled. "There's always the one kid who keeps to himself. I let out a sigh of relief when that seemed to convince the red head I hadn't meant him specifically. He went back to observing the wall next to him as the rest of the class went on. The bell finally rang and all the students lazed out the door. It took me a full minute to realize one student had stayed behind, watching me gaze out the window. "Yes Gaara?" I asked lightly trying to keep my heart under control.

He just stared at me before getting up oddly and walking to the doorway. "I think I'm in the wrong class." He muttered softly.

"I'm sorry to hear that. Just bring me the proper slips from the office and we'll get it all straightened out." I smiled, trying to keep my demeanor calm and collective as my brain went into a frenzy. I didn't want him to leave. I'd finally found him.. after giving up my search, we'd met again. I wanted to know about his life after he'd been torn from my arms at that hospital. I wanted to know everything he had learned about his missing family. I just wanted to see him. But the logical side of my brain spoke up again. He's okay. He's adapted to life successfully. Don't drag up things he most likely doesn't want to remember.

That voice was right. Of course. That voice was the one Sasuke had finally ground into my brain. That voice would always be right. "See ya later kid." I smiled again walking behind my desk as he walked out the door.

Yes. Though it killed me to see him walk away... this was the better way...

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**Just in case anyone wants to know... When Gaara was found in the basement he was 7 and Naruto was 14... Damn that's a big age difference.  
Ha ha ha.  
Reviews make me happy.  
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	3. Who Am I Now?

**Okay. So the reviews I got had me on the floor... You guys rock! And Naruto's attitude as a teacher was stolen from my favorite teacher in the history of forever. Yes. That teacher exists! Anyways, on with the story!**

**Note: Characters aren't mine, child abuse, yaoi, NaruGaa, lemons later on, and so on.**

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**Chapter Two**_**  
Who Am I Now?**_

I walk away from the classroom with a heavy heart. There is nothing in this world that could make me feel more worthless, more like a nothing than the newest encounter with My Angel. My feet kept pushing me forward and I could feel pieces of me fall off and get left behind. His smile, my arms detached and tumbled to the tiled floor. His eyes, my legs. His excitement, my hips. His confidence, my chest. His voice wrapped around my name... my heart.

The sting of tears forming in my eyes for a third time that morning made my destroyed heart throb. It doesn't matter. It doesn't _matter_... I didn't even convince myself. I bit my tongue and continued the trudge onward. When I collapsed into the desk in my next class I wondered when I'd become such a baby. I thought I had closed myself off. I thought I had become emotionless. I realized as the bell rang out shrilly above my head that I never had. I was never emotionless. All my emotions had been desperately clinging to his memory. For the day he'd come for me and sweep me off my feet. The day he'd show up and my world would be bright once more.

I was such a fool.

A sob tried to break free, but I swallowed it back and lowered my head to hide the tears I knew were going to break forth no matter how I tried to keep them away. I cried silently into the cold unforgiving wood for a few minutes before a finger stabbed me in the head several times. "Either sit up or get out." The owner growled. I stood without a word and was out the door before the teacher could blink, leaving eyeliner stained tears as the only sign I'd been there.

I wandered the halls numbly, fleeing in fear when I realized I had stopped in front of his classroom. The rest of the day past by in a blur. Nothing extraordinary happening, nothing at all happened. Not that I'd notice if it did. The whole damn building could've spontaneously burst into flames and I wouldn't have noticed. The thought of my saviour, My Angel not even remembering who I was made something crumble inside of me... I didn't realize it was hope that was lost until I was seated in the car next to Temari.

"Gaara? Did you hear me?"

I looked over at the frowning blonde and gave her a weak smile. "Sorry. A lot... happened today."

She smiled. "Senior year is always kind of mind blowing." I gave her another weak smile and she changed back to her earlier topic. "Like I was saying, Kankuro is coming over tonight." I stiffened. I hadn't met my older brother yet. Only stories, pictures and short conversations on the phone. "He's excited. We'll be having a big dinner, celebrating and reminiscing."

"You're not cooking are you?" I joked, tone still dead.

She grinned. "And what's wrong with my cooking?" I let out a small chuckle. "For your information _mister_, we'll be going out to eat." She continued talking but I stopped listening, my heart too busy trying to rebuild itself.

When we finally pulled up to the house, I got out numbly and stumbled down to my room to get ready to meet another relative who didn't even remember I'd existed. As the door to my basement bedroom swung shut, all the tears I'd been trying to hold back sprung forth with a vengeance. I fell to the floor, tears and sobs shaking my small body. I muffled the sounds by biting into my sleeve, trying my hardest to make them stop. Today... today had been awful. I just needed to cry, let it all drain from my body, get it all out. From the moment I woke up I knew I'd break down. I knew from the tears threating to spill at every opportunity. I needed to let them free before they broke me down completely.

When the tears finally subsided I felt weak. I felt tired. I knew I should've probably gotten up to get ready, but there was no energy left in my body. So I just laid there, thoughts of my own worthlessness taking over my brain until I fell into a deep dreamless sleep.

Shikamaru woke me up an hour later, finding me in the closet once more, curled into a tight ball with my knees pulled tightly to my chest. I didn't remember moving at all. "Hey. Temari asked me to remind you to take a shower..." His voice trailed off when I looked up. "What happened?" I shook my head and dropped it onto my knees once more. "I may not look like it... but I'm pretty good at solving problems." A warm hand placed itself on my head and a shuddering breath forced itself into my lungs.

"Just..." I searched for words closest to the truth without giving anything away. "a nightmare."

"I see. Wanna talk about it?" I shook my head. "Kankuro will be here in half hour. Need me to stall for time?" I looked up again and tried to give him a smile, shaking my head. "Okay. Come up when you're done." He walked away, leaving the closet door open and turned my bedroom light on. As the door shut I mumbled my thanks to the kind man my sister had married and crawled from the closet, pulling a new set of clothes out with me.

The shower was quick, warm and energizing. I scrubbed my face furiously. I'd forgotten about my eyeliner when the tears took over and almost jumped out of my skin when I caught my reflection. No wonder the man knew something was wrong. Two giant streaks of black starting at my eyes and running down to my neck almost covered my entire face. "Boogyman beware..." I muttered sarcastically as I turned the water off and dressed quickly, only applying my eyeliner slowly before starting up the stairs. I froze momentarily as the doorbell sounded through out the house before dashing up the remainder of the stairs and was standing beside my brother-in-law by the time Temari opened the door.

"Kankuro!" She cried excitedly, throwing her arms around a tall brunette. His deep chuckle just made me even more tense.

"How've you been?" He asked, pulling her arms away.

"Fine fine. Just doing the normal crap."

"Where's Gaara?"

Temari stepped away and two pairs of green eyes latched onto me. As they stared at me, I couldn't help but notice they both had the same eyes that I did, a mix of blue and green forming an almost indescribable color, only their eyes were darker as if they had more green than blue in them. The tall muscular man looked me up and down critically before breaking out into an uneasy smile. "Good god... He looks like mom..." The statement seemed to suck all of the air from the room, before the blonde woman let out an uneasy laugh.

"Well, should we all head out to dinner then? I for one am starved."

"Can't stand to eat your own cooking?" Temari reached up and smacked him over the head. "Ow, fuck!"

"What is it with you men and my cooking?" She growled crossing her arms across her chest. I smiled at their antics and took a step forward. The eyes of the older man connected with mine again before a grin spread across his face.

"Temari..." My sisters eyes meet her husbands and she cursed under her breath. I knew what was coming. The tension between them could be felt, spreading through the room like a disease. She gabbed Kankuro's hand and led him to the couch, practically shoving him into the soft cushions. When she came to stand behind me, a small slender hand resting on my shoulder while her husbands rested on my other one, a small shudder ran down my back and my uneasiness multiplied.

"I know we should've talked about this before you got here... but I didn't know how to bring it up." She seemed to stumble over her words and she squeezed my shoulder lightly. "Nobody knows Gaara is our brother." Kankuro opened his mouth, anger flashing across his face, but Temari cut him off with a single raised hand. "I know. I know. But father did a lot of good for a lot of people... even if it wasn't for the people who needed it the most. He died telling only us his secret. Could you imagine the things that would be said about him, about our family, if we told everyone? The charities he established would lose their sponsors, the businesses he left would more than likely go under and thousands would be out of work." He opened his mouth to speak again, but was cut off immediately. "It was Gaara's idea. We protested but he made his point, so now we live under this lie. Gaara is our adopted son. He's got his rightful family name and his family. Due to fathers will, this is all we can give him."

The brunette stood up angrily. "The name and the chance to have my real family... is all I want." He deflated as I watched him. I thought he was frozen in his place because of my words until I realized I was glaring. I closed my eyes and threw him a small smile. "Nothing more." He nodded curtly.

"We thought it best to tell you before we went out." Shikamaru stated blandly.

Kankuro gave another nod. "What should I call him?"

Temari laughed, trying unsuccessfully to keep the bitterness from it. "He still has his name... He's just your nephew not your brother." I smiled softly again.

"Well _nephew_, can I give you a hug? Cause you look like you'll bite my head off if I try." He laughed and stepped towards me. I cringed but nodded the affirmative. His arms wrapped around me, almost crushing me, but I barely noticed. As his arms were around me I thought back to the last pair of muscular arms that had embraced me. I fought the tears back and just let my memories of the blond man fill me.

If only... if only he had remembered me. As that thought fluttered through my mind, the heart I'd been trying to piece back together all day, shattered once more.

My unshed tears did not go by unnoticed. Silent tears fell from my sisters eyes as her arms encircled both me and my older brother. Kankuro had the glisten of tears in his eyes as well when we broke apart. I said nothing to break the happiness I knew they were experiencing. I couldn't say anything. As I was ushered out to the car, I locked everything away, left it behind in the house that was now my home to await my return. I didn't notice we were taking separate cars until I was in the front seat of an unfamiliar black Mercedes with my brother behind the wheel. I tensed immediately.

"I convinced mother hen to let you ride with me." He smirked, turning the key and reaching over to kill the booming music. Once silence settled over us and we were on our way, he spoke again. "You were... locked... away for three years?" I nodded, eyes straight ahead. "Where were you before that?"

I pressed my lips together and looked down. "A man took care of me. In a tiny house in the middle of a forest. He was in one of the photo albums we looked through... Yashamaru..." Kankuro turned to look at me, surprise evident as he almost ran a red light.

"**Uncle** Yashamaru?" I nodded. "I went to his funeral. Dad said he was murdered..." I cringed. Temari had said the same thing. His voice held all the suspicion hers had. "I can't believe dad was such a liar." He muttered. I was surprised his voice was angry. "What really happened?"

I gulped back my fears. I could remember it perfectly. "We were going to the swings outside and he slipped on the rainwater going down the porch steps. He didn't get up." I felt like a four year old again. I felt as if I were still there waiting for him to wake up, wondering why he fell asleep when we were going to play. At four years old, I didn't have any concept of life or death. I didn't know what those words meant or what they implied. I remember bringing food out to the body, mostly dry cereal, and being excited and disappointed when the food would disappear but he'd still be sleeping. I was angry at the man I'd started to think of as my dad and took to sitting there all day waiting for him to wake up, often falling asleep by the cold body.

It was days later and I was trying to wash the body with a rag because he was starting to smell when a bright red car pulled into the drive way. The man I'd been told was my real father stepped out freezing when he spotted us. I waved. He shouted. I was hit for the first time that day... That was the first day I was called a monster, a freak, a murderer. That was the day I learned about death. That night I was taken far away and locked in my little room.

My hands clenched and a violent shudder wrecked through my body. When we got to the restaurant, I had become a shell. Temari looked worried, Shikamaru gave me a small smile and Kankuro threw an arm over my shoulder. We ate, they laughed and shared stories, I was asked questions which I answered with as few words as I could manage. It was a good evening. As dessert arrived, I felt a small smile naturally on my lips. Temari turned to me and began trying to engage me in a conversation about painting and redecorating my room, but Kankuro's conversation with the mostly silent brunette caught my attention.

"You haven't said 'troublesome' all night. What's up with that? I thought that was like your catchphrase or somthin'?"

I didn't have to see Shikamaru's eyes on me to know they were. I could feel them on me. "Sometimes words thrown about lightly can affect people in ways you didn't mean." he whispered lowly, a hint of regret in bedded in his words. Kankuro let out a small noise of acknowledgment, before turning the conversation elsewhere.

-

I stared at the ceiling above me, completely ignoring the tv still glowing on the other side of the room. I was too caught up in my thoughts to notice anything around. The boy had grown up. He was doing fine. I learned he'd been adopted by the famous Sabaku family only this summer, by a young woman and her young husband. It seemed to everyone he'd adjusted well. I was surprised, for some strange reason, that everyone knew his story. It had been an almost national story. Everyone seemed to know he'd been a neglected child, that he'd been locked away. But there was no mention of who had found him or where he'd been found and that no one had felt the need to tell him that they knew. Everyone figured he'd locked it away and forgotten his past. Everyone agreed it was for the best.

"Dobe!" An angry voice growled to my left and I turned to see Sasuke holding a phone in my face. "Sheesh. Didn't you hear the phone ringing?"

I smirked. "I guess I got lost." He huffed and tossed the phone in my lap, muttering about idiots or something. I picked up and pressed it to my ear. "Hello?"

"I've been calling for the last half hour. Were you out?" I smiled automatically at Iruka's voice.

"You could say that. Did you need something?"

"**You** were supposed to call **me**. How did your first day go?"

My eyes closed and I looked around to make sure Sasuke was gone, not answering until I heard the shower start above me. "He's in my class Iruka. Gaara is in my first period class." My voice cracked on the last word.

I heard my guardian stop breathing. I didn't have to explain. "What did he say? What did he look like? Is he okay?" I smiled at his natural paternal, almost maternal, instinct.

"He looks good. He's grown, not as big as a normal seventeen year old, but still grown. He was adopted recently, by a good family. He looks great. Really skinny though." I smiled as tears welled in my eyes. I really hated being so emotional all the time.

"What did he say? Did he recognize you? Did he confront you? What did **you** say?" His voice blurred the words together and I could tell he had tears in his eyes as well. The redhead had haunted us for ten years, to us, he was ours. Iruka's son, my... my... my what?

I shook my head. "He didn't say anything. Not a word. He didn't even seem to recognize me. It's like he locked it all away, forgot everything about those years spent in his prison. I didn't say anything. I didn't want to bring up any unwanted memories... nightmares of a forgotten life. He looks so good Iruka. Really good. I didn't want to ruin anything for him." I laughed. "He still looks like that little kid we found all those years ago. His eyes have lost their frightened look and he stood tall. He's just fine." I could feel my father smile.

"That's good Naruto. That's good. Just keep your distance. If he's doing good, don't take that away from him." I heard someone mutter something in the background. "It's Naruto. What? No! We're talking here! Kakashi stop!" I heard a something crash. "Kakashi wants to say hi." I laughed as I heard the phone being passed off.

"Hey. How'd it go?" A gruff almost bored voice asked.

"I was late." He chuckled. "Your stupid habits are catchy, work on that."

"That was all you, don't pass the blame kid." I rolled my eyes. "Congrats on making it." I laughed. "I gotta go, a fuming brunette looks ready to strangle me if I don't surrender the phone."

"Bye pervert."

"Later brat." There was a small scuffle before Iruka spoke up.

"I'm glad to hear it went well." I could hear the question and hesitation in his voice.

"He was adopted by the Sabaku family." I smiled.

There was a pause. "I thought Sabaku died a few months ago?"

"He had some children."

"Ah... How did your day go otherwise?"

"Ugh. You had to ask." I made a face. "I got complaints because my classes were too loud. Can you imagine?" I heard him laugh lightly. "The old lady gave me a half serious lecture before Jiraiya stormed the office and swept her away." I faked a yawn. "I've got classes bright and early" the words were said with disdain, "So I'd better go. Talk to you tomorrow?"

"We'll be here." I could hear the smile I couldn't see. "Goodnight."

"G'night." I pressed the end button and went back to staring at the ceiling. The light from the tv made shadows jump and recede. I laughed lightly. The ceiling was dancing for me. I took a deep breath, smelling Sasuke before I could see him. I inhaled again. The brunette smelled like rain, a gentle subtle smell that instantly lifted your spirits. A smell that made you relax and made you want to smile. I knew it was all because of the expensive shampoo he bought, but it was still amazing that he could smell like that.

"That was short." He stretched, smirking as his bones gave a few pops.

I snickered. "Yeah, well, we didn't have much to say." He grunted and walked to the kitchen, clanging around in the fridge before coming back in holding two beer bottles. "On a school night? Sasuke Uchiha! I am shocked and appalled!" I cried out in mock surprise, holding my hand out to take one from him. He jerked them away and sat down beside me. "Hey!"

He looked over and quirked an eyebrow. "You wanted one?" I glared at him, snatching a cold bottle from his grasp. "I am shocked and appalled." I laughed and twisted the cap, swallowing half of it before the froth died down. We sat there, staring at some meaningless show in silence. It was odd in a way, but I didn't know why. An hour came an went with two more beers a piece before dark blue eyes turned to me. "What's wrong?"

I turned and popped an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"You've been quiet all damn day. Staring off into space, not paying attention. No offense but this house has never been this quiet since you got here. Somethings wrong." The eyes bore into mine.

I grinned. "Just a weird day." He nodded and let it drop. We continued to sit there for who knows how long, the minutes seem to melt together and gave me a sense of uselessness. My mind tried to wander, tried to bring up things I should've been thinking about, but it refused to leave the redhead alone. The thoughts didn't stick and I was thrown in to a replay of the day we found him mashed oddly with today. The small seven year olds small tentative smile stuck on the seventeen year old body, making his whole demeanor change and soften. His eyes wide, happy with an underlying fear. Gone was the hardened young man and in his place an innocent teenager... I loved the image my mind made. It made happiness bring a smile to my face. But the thought that this imaginary kid would not be the one to greet me tomorrow made something crush. The thought that I would only be an outsider, a barely glanced at bystander, crushed me and I whispered the words without meaning to. "It will be as if we never existed in his life... as if I never existed..." My eyes slid shut and darkness took me from the conscious world.

* * *

**I've noticed Naruto's parts are shorter than Gaara's. Not intentional. ha ha. Let me know if you spot something off. I'll fix it.  
Leave me luvin's?**


	4. The Paths Before Us

**Note: Characters aren't mine, child abuse, yaoi, NaruGaa, lemons later.... [dude. I guess I should put, like, I donno, sex with a minor?**]

**

* * *

Chapter Three  
_The Paths Before Us  
_**

I never transferred out of his class.

I couldn't bear the idea of him never seeing me, of never seeing him. So I stayed put. He never asked about it. Of course he would never ask about it. What was I thinking? I'm just another face in his day... another face he barely sees. We were well into September, our class has just finished reading the persuasive essays on boring and bland shit nobody here cares about at all. I was actually dreading the next boring thing we'll have to read.

"Okay class, I'm sure you all want to kill me and the news I've got will make you start planning my death. I just ask that you don't damage my face. I want an open casket funeral." I smirked slightly, noticing the rest of the class smiled as well. "We aren't done with persuasive essays." A collective 'WHAT?' made the blond man smile and shake his head. "You'll all be writing me one."

The loud groans made the teacher shake his head again. "Come on. Take the thing you're passionate about, the thing that you want to fight for. I know you all have something here. Something with two sides, an argument. There are so many things to write about." He sat on the edge of his desk and smiled at us... at me. "Convince me to see your way... No, make me stop and think. This won't be about right or wrong, this won't be about if you can convince me you're way is the way to see things. This will be about making me stop and think. Getting me interested in what you're interested in." His smile grew and I'm sure I wasn't the only one a little breathless at the site.

"Does it matter what it's about?" Someone asked from the other side of the room.

The blond sucked air through his teeth and seemed to think about it. "Total creative freedom. One rule though: Lets keep it PG." The faces around me smiled again, the thought of this project no longer upsetting, optimistic enthusiasm rippling through out the room. I felt it as well. This could be my chance. My chance to say the things I couldn't, make him remember me, make him see me again. "Okay, today you'll write your fist draft, tomorrow I'll take you to the computer lab and you'll type it up and turn it in. Let's get started."

The students around me pulled out notebooks and binders, chatting away with those next to them. I, on the other hand, remained silent and began writing, not bothering to pay attention to those around me. My topic was easy, my opinion set in stone since I was a child. Angels. Not as heavenly creatures with wings, but human, god sent, life saving angels.

My pencil couldn't move fast enough to get the words out. I didn't worry about sentence structure, grammar, or overall layout of the paper. I just wanted to get all the words out before I went over them with a critical eye. I was on my fourth sheet of paper when the bell rang out above me. I growled, still not finished with the words. I gathered my things quickly and almost sprinted to the next classroom, writing away as soon as I seated. It was like I was possessed. Class was almost over by the time I ran out of things to write. The teacher was eyeing me out of the corner of his eye when I finally laid the pencil on the smooth surface with a sigh, an annoyed look on his face.

I actually wasn't sure if anything I had written would make any sense when I sat down to read it over, but I was satisfied with the amount I had written. I passed the day in a state of impatience. I just wanted to get home. I wanted to write this paper with enough emotion that he would have to remember the child he pulled from the basement all those years ago. Yes, there was no way this could fail.

I hopped in the car, barely listening to anything my sister was saying, my hand itching to pull the papers out and start going over them like a madman. As soon as she stopped in the driveway I was out of the car, walking with all the patience I could muster to the door. Temari dragged me to the kitchen and made me grab something to eat before I was able to escape to the basement, muttering something about homework. I rolled my eyes and bit into the lemon bar as I crawled onto my bed and pulled my notebook from my bag. She was still trying to make me eat, figuring it would make me less tiny and unhealthy looking. I didn't tell her the social workers had already tried that when they first got me. I was just naturally tiny from the lack of room to grow, sunlight and nutrition. Thanks daddy... I stretched and pulled out a highlighter, flipping the pages open.

I sat there on my grey bed for hours, highlighting, re-writing, erasing and placing the paper until I was positive it was perfect. By the time Temari called me up for dinner, I was ready to type the thing out. I was excited and nervous all at once. He'd have to know me. He would just have to.

The feelings did not go away the next day when I typed it out surprisingly fast and turned in my, metaphorically speaking, out stretched hand. And it was beginning to make me feel sick. I'd never felt that way in such a long time or for such an extended period. My stomach started feeling nauseous, my heart going from racing at an impossible rate to scarily sluggish, and my head pounded and throbbed. The blond had said he would give them back the next day but I couldn't wait. This was a chance to make him remember. I'd give **anything** if he would just remember me. Anything at all.

I sat in the library at lunch, hating the chaos that was the lunch room and tried to distract myself with a book. I sighed in frustration and set the book down, deciding that if I was reading the same paragraph twenty times and none of it was sticking that the distraction wasn't working. I clenched my hands and released repeatedly, focusing on the tightening and releasing of my muscles and letting my mind drift to what it wanted.

I burned to know if he had read the paper yet, and if he had, did he finally realize who I was? This was stupid. So completely and utterly stupid. If he didn't... I was just going to have to say something. The past month had been torture, my resolve to stay silent stabbed me while I was in the room with him and filled me with regret when I walked away. I reached up and rubbed at the pressure building on my temples roughly. "Gaara?" I looked up at the sound of the desperately desired voice. Naruto stood across the table, balancing a stack of books in one hand while the other was still reaching for one on the shelf. His blue eyes danced as a smile lit that amazing face. "You look... You look... well, like you're in pain." His laugh danced in my ears and took all my breath away. He snagged the book he'd been reaching for and walked over to me, setting the books on the table with a loud thump. "Anything wrong?"

The little voice in my head told me to say something, say the things I wanted to say. "Just thinking." I whispered and the little voice of stupidity or reason, I'd yet to figure out which one, called me an idiot. I rolled my eyes internally. I already knew that about myself.

"Yeah, that makes my head hurt too." He smiled at his own joke and I managed to pull one off as well. "Anything I can help with?" He offered.

Yeah. You're the reason I'm feeling physically, mentally and emotionally sick right now. Remember me you stupid, gorgeous, sexy, awe-inspiring, moronic, idiot and I'll feel just fine. I went with, "No." I had a feeling that would go over better. He frowned slightly and took the seat across from me.

"Isn't it lunch period?" I nodded, lowering my eyes to the red surface that lay between us. "Any particular reason you aren't down in the cafeteria, Mr. Stick?" I sighed, focusing on the sound of his voice and committing it to memory for later, ignoring the last bit.

"Too loud." He let out a snort of amusement.

"High school in general is loud." A tanned hand entered my sight as it slid across the table, my heart went into a frenzy as it crept closer and grabbed the book laying in front of me. When he took it I continued to gaze at the table, forcing the organ to calm itself and the butterflies to violently die in my stomach. He made a small noise of interest. "Is this any good?" I shrugged. He chuckled softly and I cursed as the sound ruined my work on calming the heart in my chest and resurrected the fucking butterflies. "You're halfway through it and you don't know if it's good or not?"

I lifted my head and met his eyes. "It depends on the ending. If it's strong... if it ends well, then, to me, it's a good book." His head tilted and a soft smile took the place of his wide grin. The insect-like feelings in my body seemed to multiply. I swallowed nervously as those gentle blue eyes studied me. "If not, I wasted my time." I cursed my mouth when that seemed to break the moment and the book was pushed back to me.

He stood and gathered the books, tucking them under his strong chin for better balance. "I've never heard that before." He smiled and waved with his free hand. "Class will be starting here in a few, so I'd better go before the flood gates open. See you tomorrow, red." I glared at him half heartedly and he laughed. I listened to the sound as he disappeared behind the shelves, on his way to the front desk. I smiled and laid my head in my arms, feeling happy enough to sing and, honestly, that was something no one in this room would want to hear.

It wasn't until after the bell had hung and I was halfway through my next class did I realize the sickening nervousness had been slain with that short conversation with the teacher. Granted I was still worried and anxious, but it wasn't affecting me physically anymore. I stared at the numbers and symbols on the white board, the problems finished long ago, and wondered how such meaningless words could make me so happy, so... hopeful.

Temari's face lit up when she spotted me. I felt so peaceful I imagined it must be showing in my eyes. When she asked me how my day had been, I answered without stopping to think. "Wonderful." Her smile was amazing at that word and I noticed her shiver. I tried to reign myself in and wrapped my arms across my chest, turning to stare out the window. I watched the city go by in a blur and forced myself not to think of that face he gave me. Tried to not think of the look in his eyes after my response to the book and the feelings said looks produced. I blushed as, needless to say, I failed horribly. It was about fifteen minutes into the car ride that I realized we weren't going the right way to be heading home. I turned to my sister, more than slightly puzzled. "Where are we going?"

"Huh? I told you yesterday we're painting your room."

"Oh." Did she? Where was I? Oh yeah... she said something about at dinner last night, something about white being the color for storage space and dorm rooms, not a bedroom. I had consented easily while my mind was miles away. She pulled into a parking lot in front of a Home Depot, dragged me into the store and to the paint section. My nose wanted to scrunch at the strong smell of wood and chemicals, but I forced it not to.

We spent several minutes pulling out color scheme cards, the blonde woman laughing when I picked up a pink one accidentally, and debated over them. She thought something bright and cheery, like orange or yellow, would be best. I argued for the midnight blue or light grey in my hands. I won in the end when I pointed out the grey would match the bed spread she'd bought for me previously.

With the five cans of the color and a two cans of of soft orange, for the bathroom apparently, in the cart, she dragged me to the 'décor' section. I rolled my eyes briefly as she picked up an antique looking, black framed mirror and a matching lamp set. I didn't argue as she got help for a pale ashy looking wooden desk, or the disturbingly girly black and silver throw pillows, or when she snagged up some sheer white curtains with dark silver rods, but when she started looking at new faucets for the bathroom, I pulled her to the checkout line.

The drive home was full of excited chatter on my sisters part and deep regret at agreeing on mine. Shikamaru was already home when we arrived, looking irritated at all of the crap crammed into the back and I smiled apologetically. "I forgot how nuts she gets when she gets to redecorate." He muttered. I helped him carry it inside, pull the furniture to the center of the room and unscrew the bathroom fixtures. Temari pulled out some drop clothes, we mixed the paint and set to work. It was actually quite fun, particularly when my sister brought up the subject of redoing the living room and was immediately shot down by her husband.

We finished with the light orange in the bathroom and my sister sat on the big bed waiting for the second coat to dry while the brunette man grumbled and put the desk together. I sat on a drop cloth by them, more than slightly disgruntled at the nice coat of paint covering me. I glared at the blonde woman and she laughed. "I said I was sorry already." She managed between giggles. I just glared harder. "Oh come on. You can't pull off angry in that color." I huffed when Shikamaru laughed at that. "Oh it was an accident, don't be a sour orange." They laughed at her joke and even I had to crack a smile.

We'd just started on the bathroom when she climbed up a ladder to get the top half of the room and asked me to hand her a tray of paint. I had lifted it when she wasn't really looking and when her hand came up, it knocked into it, tipping it and coating my face, hair and front in the wonderful Sundance 6897 that now graced my bathroom walls. Ever get paint in your mouth? Not pleasant. I could still taste it even though I had Listerined my mouth about a hundred times since.

After dinner and a movie, and a shower obviously, Temari deemed it okay to push the furniture closer to their original spots, though I switched my bed to the other side of the room, and ordered me not to touch the walls. I rolled my eyes at that and the two went upstairs. I pushed the windows closed a bit more, changed into loose fitting pajama bottoms and climbed into bed. As I drifted off to sleep, I felt more content and at home than I ever had since the couple had adopted me. I let out a soft peaceful noise and fell asleep.

I awoke in a nest of dark grey that was my comforter and sheets on the floor when the alarm next to me wailed to life hours later. I stared at the numbers on the screen groggily before slapping the button down and rising to my feet. I showered, dressed and climbed the stairs anxiously. Yesterday I had been distracted by my makeshift family and almost forgot about my worries, but now there was nothing to take my mind from it. Today I would be getting my paper back. Today My Angel would remember me, either from my paper or I would say something. Yeah. The only problem was I couldn't think of what to say if it came to the latter scenario.

I picked at the breakfast my sister set before me for a while and felt like throwing up last nights dinner when my brother-in-law stated it was time to go. The entire drive to the school was spent arguing with myself. He had to remember, it wouldn't be fair if he didn't. It was okay if he didn't, it had been ten years and things are fine as they are. No they aren't, I was freaking dying every time his eyes passed right over me. But then, he still noticed me in the library and talked to me, so he did know I existed...

I was sitting in the desk in the room he would be in before I realized it and still I was going back and forth. People poured into the room when the bell rang out and a few minutes after ward. The room was full of weekend plans, but I stayed silent as usual and stared at the door. At the usual ten minutes, the beautiful man blew into the room. His arms were full of papers and a travel mug, but he looked rumbled... tired and when his eyes fell on me briefly, I filled with hope. Had it worked?

He set the things in his arms down on his desk and turned to face the class. "Good morning, nice to see the end of the week isn't it?" He chirped brightly and lifted the papers. "You all did great on these, not that I expected any different." He smiled and began handing them back to his students. When he got to me, my fingers tightened their grip on my arms. I took it, my heart freaking out violently within me, but he turned easily and walked to the next kid. I looked at the orange writing at the top of my paper.

_Good job. Well written and convincing. I can tell you wrote this with a lot of passion. A+_

I reread the words several times and my hope died, but instead of the sadness I expected to feel, anger consumed me. I twitched in my seat as the rest of the class fell into a discussion with the blond man. What the hell... What. The. Hell?! The anger ate at me for the entire period. My previous thought that it would be okay if he didn't remember burning away as I silently fumed. This wasn't acceptable. This wasn't right. This wasn't **fair**. I glared at the paper until the bell rang. The people around me gathered their things and I did as well, but lingered in my seat. When the room was empty, I stood and walked as calmly as I could manage -quite normally despite the rage burning through my veins- and stood before his desk. He didn't notice me at first, his eyes shut and his long graceful fingers massaging the area between his eyebrows gently. I waited for a second as the anger died and a hollow pain filled me. I cleared my throat when all the emotions within me died completely and he jumped before looking up.

His smile spread across his face easily and his eyebrows raised slightly. "Ah, Gaara, what can I help you with today?" Thousands of ways to approach him flitted through my mind in a matter of seconds before settling on one that seemed... the safest... the most appropriate. I sighed and stared into his deep blue eyes, before walking backwards towards the door, putting distance between My Angel and myself, my courage growing as we grew farther apart.

I took a deep breath and stopped. He raised an eyebrow and seemed very lost. "He lied." I whispered, fighting to keep fear from my voice. His eyes darkened and his mouth fell open, confusion gracing that wondrous face.

"Who did?"

"My father lied. I didn't kill my mother." He froze completely and I ran from the room.

-

I sat there, rooted to the spot, as he dashed from the room. The redhead's words resonated in my mind. When I had read his paper I began to wonder if he remembered something, if not me then something, about his childhood... his rescue... The way he wrote of angels was loving and tender and his paper was full of passion that I was sure anyone who read it would be convinced to see his way. I'd actual lost sleep wondering if he knew who I had been to him, or if he just remembered someone pulling from that hell.

But his words... He knew it was me. He **knew**. So many emotions clashed within me. Anger, sorrow, pain, fear, joy. The first three at the fact that he did remember his childhood and the place he'd been locked in for so long. Fear at how I could, might, would act around him now that I knew he recognized me. And joy, pure bliss, that he knew me... that he remembered me.

Did the years of abuse during his childhood haunt him? Were his memories the reason behind that hallow look in his eyes? Had I been on his mind all these years just as he had been on mine? Did he think of me so much he lost sleep over it just as I had? Had he wondered where I had been, if I was okay, what I'd been doing? There were so many questions blaring in my mind I felt as if I were drowning in them.

"Naruto!" I blinked and stared up into concerned dark blue eyes. When had Sasuke gotten here? He shook me by my shoulders gently and called my name again.

"Remembers me." I muttered as a hollow smile lifted my lips. His eyebrows scrunched together and his eyes questioned me. "Uh, when did you get here?" I asked, shaking myself out of my stupor, hand raising to pinch the bridge of my nose.

"Damn, dobe. A fucking student called my room and said you weren't moving or responding to anything." My eyes scanned the room. The class was full, teenagers staring at me with worried looks on their faces. When did they get here? Had the bell rung already? "I've been trying get you to snap out of it for a full god damn minute."

I grinned sheepishly at all the eyes on me. "And this is why I don't think very often." A few of them laughed while the rest chose to just smile, looking relieved. "We'll talk later." I whispered quietly to my friend and he shot me a look that screamed 'We'd better' before he turned and left the room. I stood and walked around the desk, smiling at the children before me, feeling strangely blank, and began a class discussion.

As the day went on the odd lack of feelings within me began to weigh me down.

When Sasuke pulled away from school building that evening, I thought if the strange nothingness were not in me, I would've been thrown into a horrible depression. "Don't do that." My friend growled out of the corner of his mouth.

I glanced over at him, sinking down into my seat. "Don't do what?"

"That. Shrink into yourself. It's disturbing. I'm supposed to be the emotionless one, not you." I rolled my eyes as a smile spread across my face. "So what happened this morning? Don't tell me it had to do with that redhead in your class."

My head snapped around to stare at him in shock. "What?"

"I've only seen you do that one other time in the entire time I've known you." He looked at me from the corner of his eyes. "The first time we met Sasori. So I'm betting it has to do with redheads."

I glared at him slightly and settled into watching the city go by. We both remained silent the rest of the ride home, I did because of the nauseous feeling in the pit of my stomach... I couldn't figure out why the brunette let me stay quiet. We walked into the house and settled into our usual after school routine, Sasuke disappearing to do his own thing while I raided the fridge and planned dinner. Still the silence that had settled over us earlier stayed, pressing on me like a painful weight, as I tried to think of what to say to my best friend. It wasn't until we were sitting on the couch after dinner did I find my mouth opening.

"When I was fourteen... Iruka and I moved into this new house. I remember I was so excited and happy we were finally moving out of the apartment and I got a room with a door that locked and Iruka got a real kitchen to cook in. Thats all I really remember about that morning. I remember I loved the room that was to be mine, it was bigger than our old living room. But there was this smell to it, it made my stomach churn and I had no idea what it was. I remember opening all of the windows before bringing in the boxes... It was my second trip up when I heard it... A child's voice singing softly. I looked out of the windows but there were no children around.

"I had given up, freaking out because I thought I now had a ghost in my room, when I walked by this ancient looking vent on the wall. I listened to it for a while, wondering if there was a child's toy stuck in the wall, but the voice stuttered occasionally, it hiccuped and sobbed. I remember I was scared, but I some how had the mind to go to the first level and look for the vent in the room directly below mine. It was louder there and the smell was worse. I ran to the lowest level and right in the area below the rooms there was a badly constructed wall of bricks.

"I didn't hesitate. Something told me I needed find out what was behind that wall, told me I needed to get to the singing voice. I remember calling out to the voice. I don't know what I expected to happen, but something terrible filled me when the voice stopped. That silence scared me more than the singing. I tore at the bricks and called for Iruka. I almost vomited at the sight of this rusty iron door behind it. To this day I don't know why I had that reaction when I couldn't possibly know what was behind it.

"It took both Iruka and I to pull it open... oh god... and when we did... There was a little boy there. A redhead with the most beautiful eyes... I wanted to cry at the frightened look on his face. I crawled in there and pulled him out, just by looking at him you could tell he'd been in there for a while. He was so tiny, his arms and legs looked like they would break if he tried to stand on his own, so I held him. I kept him in my arms. Once he stopped crying and fighting, saying something about 'daddy', he clung to me as if I were life itself and I held him just as tightly. I honestly can not explain why I did it, but he needed me, his arms, his legs... his eyes screamed that he needed me.

"When the paramedics arrived, the child started crying all over again and his grip on me tightened. I knew there was no way they were going to get me to release that boy, they could've threatened me or beat me but there was no way in hell I was letting them take him from my arms. In the end, they ended up taking me to the hospital with him.

"I hated the way they treated him while we were there, I wanted to kill every single person that looked at him wrong. I slept in the same bed as he did, I walked with him to each place in the hospital he needed to go. For eleven days I ate, slept and breathed attached to him by our joined hands. After a few days, I think I needed that more than he did... He called me 'his angel', not 'angel', _his_ angel. I felt like crying every time he'd say that. I know it sounds wrong... but, though he was a seven year old and I was fourteen... That boy was my first love...

"The state came and took him from me on the eleventh day. I actually had to be held back by police officers as he was carried away from me. He was crying and calling for his angel. The fact I couldn't get to him... has haunted me everyday...

"I remember I asked him many questions while we were together. He refused to answer most, but one thing that has always kept with me is the guilt he felt for the death of his mother... a mother he said he killed, that his father told him he killed. Today he told me his father lied... he told me he hadn't killed his mother..." Sasuke's eyes met mine and he seemed at a loss for words. I buried my face in my hands and tried to rub away the head ache I felt coming. "That redhead... the one in my class, Gaara, he was that child, Sasuke. And today he told me he remembered me."

The unnerving silence from before blanketed us again and that hallow feeling threatened to take me under before he finally spoke. "Isn't this a good thing then?"

My head snapped up and I looked at him as if he were crazy. "Where the fuck did you come up with that? How could this be a good thing?"

His eyes narrowed. "He didn't kill his mother. That should lift a small bit of the pain off his shoulders." I blinked vacantly before nodding. Yeah... that was a good thing. That was a great thing. "Now, what were _you_ talking about? How could this be bad? You've reunited with him and now you can put this guilt behind you. The kid looks fine. There's nothing to worry about. Unless..." He paused then and his glare intensified. "Unless... Naruto. Tell me you are not an idiot."

I drew back from that. "What?"

"Tell me you've put this first love behind you." I swallowed nervously and couldn't meet his piercing eyes. "Shit."

"I'm not going to do anything. It's illegal. I know. I'm fine. I've been around him for a month, I can spend the rest of the semester around him. Nothing has to change. I can keep my distance." I nodded firmly. Though it would kill me... I could do it, for I would never do anything to harm the child in anyway.

"You may be able to, but what about him?"

That took me off guard. "What?"

"You were his angel Naruto. You've probably been his hero for a while and it's quite possible he's built an image of you in his head that he loves." My stomach dropped and I wanted to feel fear, but happiness lifted me. "He reached out for you first. That should be a sign right there that you've never left his thoughts." An overwhelming feeling washed through me. "This could get very bad if you don't stop it now." I was on the brink of tears. "Don't let him meet with you after class unless it's important, and not ever outside of school." I was so insanely happy... "Naruto?"

I stared at my friend and tried to keep my emotions to myself. "I'll be fine. It'll be fine." I whispered and left him sitting there. I darted up the stairs and fell onto my bed, trying to calm my heart. Oh god... I wanted to see him, I wanted talk to him... I stared at the ceiling above me and tried to focus on the path I knew I should take. The one of morals and as I drifted off, I knew if I wasn't careful... I would easily fall on the path of destruction... the path of complete ruin.

* * *

**-.- I think I have issues... don't all fanfic writers?**


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